Reflection

I saw him last night and it was hard, I felt the emotions and they swarmed over me like ants. I cried, he cried, we held each other. But for me, it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough because the love wasn't the same, I had already let go and a big part of me had moved on. Our love wasn't pure anymore, but tainted and stained with the negativities of our past together. I believe that if something is meant to be between us, then it will be, but all in all that time is not here and now.

With "Derby" I am happy, he shows me his affection in all ways all of the time. He sits and talks with me and understands me. There is no strangeness between the two of us. It does not feel strained or awkward to communicate with one another and there is a definite shared empathy. It is unlike any other relationship I've been in.

This is the beginning of my new life, and I want to move away from the old, the things I do not want in my life, the hurts, pains, and regrets that keep holding me back and move forward into that bright, beautiful future that I long for.

I'm going to start reading Wayne Dyer's "The Power of Intention" tonight, and steadily go through his other works, maybe even making notes here and there.